One of the games I used to play with my ‘special’ – read emotionally unstable – dog, Lani, was the ‘switch up, switch down’ game.
I’d play something fun and exciting – tug or a racing about game – then I’d stop. I’d invite her over to sit with me, and wait for her to chill out.
And wait.
And wait.
She’s good at cheating – lying down looking so ‘chilled’ while actually ready to spring up at any moment.
So I’d wait for the slightest sign of genuine relaxation: a sigh, softer eyes, quieter breathing.
The reward? The fun could start again!
She’d leap up, grateful the boring relaxation was over…
The idea is you repeat the cycle: high energy, calm, high energy, calm.
The dog learns to bring itself down more quickly over time. Then they’re not adrenaline junkies seeking another fix every time a game ends. But more importantly, it helps after stressful events – they can regulate themselves better.
Although I learnt the game from various online dog trainers, it was familiar territory…
That semi-permanent wound-up state – I lived there for years myself. It’s one of the reasons why my back pain hung around so long.
Learning to undo it was basically making a change to my entire default state. When trying to relax, it felt like only glimmers were possible. But it was important to praise myself for what I could get, not get frustrated by how little I could manage at first.
It was hard (despite being so tired) because the wired state had become my norm – like my inner collie always wanted to jump back into the game. But eventually, like for Lani, calm became part of my repertoire.
Easy to access.
Familiar and comfortable.
When Lani started to choose calm cuddles over more games, I knew we were winning. She’s still a stress head, but that quicker come-down seeped into all parts of her life. Just like it did for me.